What's wrong with me? Again.

It happens every year. Since I was born I think.

I really do think.

Christmas Eve and Day were absolutely wonderful.

Very calm and peacefully spent with those I love most in this world.

Perfectly chosen presents from the heart and the best foods all year.

Today. Always the day after. I feel like I was hit by a truck.

It's 5pm and I'm still in my nightgown. Finally up off the couch.

Feeling like I'm drowning in a pool of emotions.

Wondering what's wrong with me. 

Again.

Feelings whirling round and round.

Pooped

Spoiled 

Grateful 

Melancholy

Peaceful

Loss

Grateful

Limbo

Displaced

Quiet

Numb

Grateful

Scared

Longing

Missing

Grateful

Excitement for what is next

Happysadscared

Content

Jittery

Foggy

Grateful Grateful Grateful

I didn't take many photos...thought I would just Be and then blog about our trip to Boston which was to be today through Tuesday. 

Mother Nature snatched that from under us, so here are just a few Hidden Pond Farm 2010 Christmas Memories :)

 ANOTHER porch mystery gift!

LOVE LOVE LOVEEEEE these!

Someone who reads my blog and knows I love my ipad because a wonderful black leather case was wrapped inside the handmade paper

???

 Someone thoughtful AND creative

???

THANK YOU Gwen and Bill!!!

So should have known it was YOU xoxoxoxoxox

 A gorgeous culinary wreath delivered from my dear cooker girlfriend Nancy <3

The aroma that filled the room as we lifted open the box was the perfecttt start to our Christmas Eve cooking!

I just couldn't wait one more day

 Been planning this since October

 No one would claim the title so straws had to be drawn

 The one who would least like the whole idea was picked

:)

 Yep a skirt

It was in the Fall.
I found him three weeks before he disappeared

I named him the groovy skirt guy.

He and his cute wife would walk their cute boy to school everyday hand in hand.

He wore a skirt.

Sooooo not in a feminine way. In a cool steamy hot way.

Long black hair tied loosely back. A sweatshirt. A wool plaid pleated skirt to his knees. Tall lace up boots.

All of a sudden I started walking again. In the morning anddd afternoon (shhh school in and out times)

I begged and begged the males in my family...ANYone to just try it.

This one...in the pic above, practically ran from the room when the subject was brought up.

He sooo didn't get it AT ALL

...funnyyy he was chosen ;) 

...now the boots.

 Lots of helping hands in the kitchen

THEEE greatest gift of all

Makes my heart dance

Santa came

 Stuffed Stockings

Their favorite!

 Waiting for the yes to come down

Alexandre is sitting in Lacy's spot

They've been doing this since they were little

 AND this Santa Came! surprise

 The little Elf seats where the "kids" sit

 Our Brazilian Boy Boy's first US Christmas

x o x

 "Are you serious?"

 Took 2 seconds

FINALLY after peeking in everyone else's gifts for the past month she gets to open HERS!

 Lacy came over in the afternoon. I miss her so, especially this time of year.

Into the Elf chairs girls!

Loves of my heart <3 

 In myyy stocking

2 Santas came!

.....I put it in my coffee with some maple syrup and cream. My winter warmer :)

OK it's not the best but I like the label. I also judge books by their covers. 

I can't help it. I'm not that deep.

 JP did not stick to "the rules" and either did Lacy :)

 These two tickle my funny bone. Love them so

xox

 Our traditional fried flounder and fettuccine alfredo

...too pooped to make the salad. Too full to even eat it.

 You guys must be sooo gosh darn sick of these table pics but I just hafta put them in here for me

These dear sweet souls are my life

xxx

Poor Helen

She FINALLY got her present today

 "Are you serious?"

"I can get high in front of you?"

 OK

The Kids are at a movie

I'm sitting here in my nightgown, down coat, and slippers

Still thinkingfeelingthinkingfeeling

Why oh why can't I be normal 

Like this

xxx

Sending out my love and Light to all of you

Thank you so for being part of my happycrazymixedupworld!

xxooxx

The Christmas Girl

I don't know why but I just do.

I feel like it's my responsibly to provide the dream Christmas for my family.

Not lots of things but a nice variety.

Something to wear, something useful, something to help their life growth, something frivolous to tickle their fancy, delicious not every day treats for their tummy, and an Ahh feeling after there presents are all wrapped with the perfect balance and variety.

Getting to the Ah is not always easy.

My underwear gets all bunched and twisted. My head feels like it is about to explode, I don't eat or drink or take my vitamins, and my heart beats outta my chest. 

....well

...I do eat. 

More chocolate kisses than I can count keep me alive the month of December.

But

When I get there, and I do get there, each and every year.

The Ahhh is worth alllll the panic attacks and sleepless nights of all the years put together.

I rookle and whine and make all those around me cRaZy during the process. 

But in the end.

I aaam The Christmas Girl

As my Mama always called me.

I'm at the Ahh point but this was my week getting there...

EVERYtime I came into the living room a variation of this is what I found.

Courtesy of our little Dachshund Carolyn

She has no brain to remember not to bark wildly when someone comes by. No brain to remember not to bite ankles. And no brain to remember not to poop in the house.

BUT she does have a brain to remember she gets a new little stuffed toy each year.

ALL week long she peeked into each and every package that she could.

Friday I was on the house phone with a friend, receiving  FIOS hookup instructions on my cell, picking up opened doggie presents and Milli screams "Mom come quick I NEED you!"

It was noon and she wanted to do something "different" with her waist length hair for a Christmas party at 1:30

She decided to "set" it with my electric metal curling brush.

So she rolled from the very bottom up to the very top of her head and COULD NOT unroll it!

The hairs overlapped and twisted on there way up and wanted to stay that way.

I picked and pulled and got the scissors.

"Short and Sassy is different" I said.

She cried.

...I thought it was funny :) 

Called Bijou our local hair salon and they were WONDERFULLLLL!!!

They reassured us nooo problem and picked and picked. AND picked.

Four hands picking at once. One main picker but different pickers helping out.

Including Bijou's SWEEEET owner Kim. Smiling her soothing smile the whole entire time xox

 Hard to tell but it was reeeeally wrapped around there TIGHT

 Oh my

 Moving out further and further from the top

 FREE AT LAST!

Embarrassed but HAPPY girl

:)

THANK YOU BIJOU!!!!!!!

Saturday we took "the kids" with us on our adventure.

One of our Christmas traditions is going into the city to Lombardi's Italian store

It's my heritage. It's how I grew up on L.I.

I am one with my Grandma when I am there.

<3

 Rolled top bags of food DELIGHT me

 Italian is now in my German Boy's blood

 My FAVORITE almond nougat candy

 My Mama ALWAYS roasted chestnuts on Christmas Eve

 LOVE this man. I think he's the owner.

He fell in-love with our Brazilian Boy Boy :)

 Tastes of salami and cheese kept coming!

 Isn't this how we should always shop?!

Oh Grandma

I miss you so.

After our field trip to the city

We came home to this

 "What the Heck?"

I thought I put most of the presents away and up high and Carolyn in her kennel

?

 Another OPENED present. Wet slimy catnip pillow

Butttt it was up on the desk with Carolyn's present. 

Howww could Carolyn get up there???

AND out of her kennel?

 Carolyn's present is on the floor

???

 UM 

Helen!!

She's high as a KITE!

And to think her present was labeled "Good Girl" and Carolyn's "Bad Girl"

She has neverrrr done one thing bad in her life.

Like kids. Carolyn gets alll the attention and she's "bad" so Helen figured bad attention is better than no attention!

Later that night...

"What?!"

"THE CAT DID IT"

I give up.

The presents have holes.

The star is crooked.

But all is well and balanced in my world.

Ahh.

Peace on Earth. Good will toward men.

...And women 

And animals

x o x